A dark cloud hung over me this week thus, the lack of blogging. I felt powerless while my emotions went on a rollercoaster ride. I stuck to my workout regime, healthy eats, and busy study schedule, but at night I'd unravel and break down in tears. Finally, mid-week, instead of putting on a brave face I decided to honor my emotions, and myself, and release my negativity in a healthy and constructive way.
So yes, as March came to a close, I lost my balance and opened the door to what I can only deem as stress, anxiety, and dispair...or perhaps they snuck through the cracks when I wasn't looking. Sneaky little devils.
But it's okay. I acknowledged my sadness and rolled with the emotions. I let my tears fall and listened to my heart beat.
Come Friday afternoon, after an hour of morning class, I went for a long walk and wound up at South Melbourne Market, my favourite neighbourhood market. It was warm with a light breeze, the perfect fall day (different than autumn in Toronto, that's for sure). At the market I almost bought a $3 goldfish, but then realized the fish bowl, food, etc was a little pricy..but who knows, maybe I'll go back for goldy. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Instead I left with avocados, cheap and oh-so-ripe bananas, bright red peppers, and a two dollar koala magnet ;)
When you look closely, light is always poking through. The universe is at your side, providing guidance and answers when you feel lost or broken. If you remember to breathe deeply, you'll find the answers. With every breath, you'll slowly but surely know what to do - whether you go for a walk, take a nap, write it down, or make that decision - for your intuition will guide you in the right direction.
By the time I got home, I felt much more calm and collected. After a quick workout and some email catch-up, I stumbled across a recent blog post by Joy called "Spring Clean Your Mind with an Emotional Detox". Thanks, Joy..great post. Thank you universe. April is a new month, a new slate (and Alex and I are flying to Thailand for 10 days over Easter break!) I can't wait to see what April brings. *Open heart, open mind*
I know the feeling of the black balloon. I think it's good that you let yourself feel your emotions instead of trying to hold it all in, and just accept that you are feeling that way. It really feels better to just cry it out than to pretend everything is great. It seems you have a lot to look forward to this month! Don't forget to enjoy every minute. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hayley. I absolutely agree - sometimes all we need is a really good cry. After all, crying is cleansing and emotionally healing. It's a new month! I hope (and suspect) it will bring love, happiness, and great success for us both :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. So strange, I was worried about you in that Friday class and I barely know you! I wondered if you were OK but thought it would be strange to ask. Lesson to self: be more human! Trust your instincts. See you soon. x
ReplyDeleteHi Jess ! Strange, there must have been something in the universe last week since I felt the exact same way too !!! And sobbed uncontrollably at one point...
ReplyDeleteInstead of the gold fish, I almost bought a hampster - and it too was a bit pricey but Im still thinking about it :P and then suddenly, something lifted and I was back to normal.
Hope you are enjoying Australia :) Dubai is quite the adventure
xo