It's amazing, and often beautiful, how friendships, or any relationship for that matter, grow and evolve over time. Some relationships grow to be strong and life-long lasting, while others grow tired and tainted. Some relationships simply drift to an unbeaten path, which you don't care to walk or follow.
When I think about all the people in my life - past, present, future (to those I am soon to meet) - it reminds me of an intricate spider web, beautiful with its every connecting and disconnecting pattern. Connected by spinning energy, that glistens in the sunshine, yet disconnected for the web may appear different to everyone, depending how the sunlight hits it. Just like a spider, we too must weave our own lives. I believe we have guides and greater energies that help us along the way, but ultimately we must listen to our hearts and own intuition.
Almost five years ago, upon entering University, I remember feeling nervous and borderline scared that my best friend and I were going to separate universities, and on separate journeys. I was moving to London, Ontario to attend The University of Western Ontario and she was staying in the city to attend The University of Toronto, which would soon lead her to travel to Asia and then reside in New York. I felt pangs of fear and jitter; I was homesick, when I hadn't even left yet.
Funnily enough, once the school year commenced, I neither threw-up nor ran a fever. In fact, "frosh year" and my following university years were incredible. In time, I had adapted to my new surroundings, bonded with new friends, and felt "at home", even in a tiny dorm room. My best friend and I only grew closer, stronger with each and every day a part. Even throughout her travels, there was no ocean that could possibly come between us. Our friendship surpassed great heights and grew into an ocean-sized love. I'm incredibly blessed and forever grateful to have friends - and the best best friend - who are there for me, against all odds and time zone changes.
Over the years - particularly stemming from my university experience, till now - I've learned that you cannot squish or break someone to fit into your world and into your life. Each of us has our own path in life and if someone is able to walk it with you, then it's something to be cherished and treasured. Just like the transition from winter to spring, love has its own time, season, and reasons for coming and going.
We live in a world where it's hard to speak from the heart. From bustling streets, crossed mediums of communication, and to media bombarding us with what we're perceived to deem as beautiful...sometimes it's hard to just breathe and let it be.
I'm blessed to have a loving family, boyfriend, and group of friends. And although I've lost ties with friends, once dear to heart, I'm neither sad nor resentful. I look back at those relationships - jealous friend; hotheaded boyfriend; dishonest lover - and know that parting on separate journeys was meant to be in this life.
And so they remain...as distant faces and memorable places.
***
There's too many things that I haven't done yet
Too many sunsets I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
I do what I can wherever I end up
To keep giving my good love
And spreading it around
Cause I've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And I'm better for that
I feel the same way about past friendships and relationships. I am not sad that I grew apart from people or that things happened that caused the relationships to end. I really believe that it all worked out for the best. After I graduated from high school, I went to Dalhousie in Halifax. I broke up with my boyfriend, which was painful but very necessary because we had become so different and didn't work as a couple anymore. A lot of friendships ended for similar reasons. I eventually realized that it is just a natural part of life...not everyone who touches our lives will always be there. But I am so grateful for the people who have always been there, and for the people I am yet to meet who will touch my life in new ways. Our lives are dynamic and always evolving and it is only natural that as we grow and change, so do our relationships. Thanks for this insightful post!
ReplyDeleteRelationships are always growing- sometimes together and sometimes apart and more than anything I think we all fail to remember that relationships are merely relating in the present moment. Of course past and future are both factors, but are not meant to override the present.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of the spiderweb.. each and everyone of us have a web unique in design and with infinite possibilities as to how it will turn out. And of course this makes sense to me as I think we are all the center of our own universes.
Great post :) Always nice to sit back and appreciate the nonmaterial aspects of our lives
love you