The Gemini Awards

Celebrating excellence in Canadian television
The Gemini awards’ returned to Toronto on Nov. 28 at the Metro Convention Centre. Dressed for the fancy occasion, attendees came together to unveil the final winners and celebrate excellence in Canadian television. In a shiny black suit, host of the evening and proud Canadian, Jason Priestley, kept the audience laughing throughout the entire one hour special.

“What a honor to host the Gemini’s,” said Priestley. “And even a bigger honor to be considered 100 percent Canadian, it’s never been cooler to be Canadian in Hollywood. We are white-hot there.”

“This is about honoring the best we have.” Said actor Vik Sahay, a presenter of the evening.

Unfortunately, some of this year’s winners have already been canceled. Both action drama series, Cock’d Gunns and Intelligence had to shut down due to poor ratings. This year, Intelligence was nominated for five Gemini’s, including best drama, but sadly the show still had to call it a wrap. In accepting his best host award for talk show The Hour, George Stroumboulopoulos gave thanks to a past gig, The New Music, which was also just canceled.

“I worked on that show for many years, so I’d like to accept this on behalf of everybody who ever worked on The New Music.”

* * *

In its second season, Durham County looks quite promising for it was one of evening’s multiple-award winners; receiving some of the top Gemini’s for best director (Holly Dale), best actor (Justin Louis) and best actress (Helene Joy). Surprisingly, Canadian favorite Corner Gas didn’t take home any wins and was beat out, yet again, by This Hour Has 22 Minutes for the best comedy series award, 7th time winner for best in comedy.

All new and old winners had acceptance speeches full of both thanks and excitement. Even Ron MacLean, who won his 10th Gemini award for best sports presenter for the Canadian classic, Hockey Night in Canada, was proud to be a part of the annual Canadian celebration.

“Toronto is home to the year’s most honored shows, including The Fifth Estate, Murdoch Mysteries, and Rent-a-Goalie”, said Ron Cohen, chair of the Academy. “What a perfect backdrop to celebrate the best in the country.”

Since it’s first broadcast in 1986, the event continues to strive in prominence and overcome challenges in order to become one of the most highly recognized events in Canada.

In Love With a Vampire

...but seriously.

I really really love Twilight actor Robert Patterson aka Edward the Vampire

He is the new dreamy mcdreamy of all dreamies.

Oh and, Twilight the movie was fantastic.

...My fantasies now include a certain someone *Cough* Patterson *Cough*

Yes, please!

Someone Get This Vodka Soda a Girl...

This Friday

This Friday I am getting cozy aka drunk and watching The Gemini Awards. Yes, sad...I know. It's for A&E Journalism, so I have no choice. But since it is hosted by the washed up Jason Priestly, I figure it'll be good...I hope it'll be good? I should win a Gemini for being a delightful Gemini.

Crunch Time

+ 5 final papers
+ X number of coffees
- hours of sleep
- hours of a social life
____________________
the next 2.5 weeks

So forgive me if my updates are rather poor and or non-existent. Alas, Christmas is just around the corner :)
Wish me luck,
xo Jess

Match Made in Mascara

Mascara and I have been together for a while now, we have a very "intimate relationship". I use, reuse, and replace my mascara every 6-8 weeks. And when I meet a really good mascara, I take great care of it. I put it on in the morning, take it with me to the gym for post workout touch-ups, and I even put on a triple layer at night. Sigh..when I meet a really good mascara, it can become really hard to let go.

Lately, I've been seeing the same Mascara for a while now. He treats me quite well, paying close attention to my each and every lash; however, now that his 8 week period is rapidly approaching, he is lacking on the volume. And since I love to switch up my makeup routine and experiment with new products, it's time I meet some new bachelors. My current Mascara is rather jealous but like I said, his shelf life is almost up anyhow.

In the midst of my hunt for a new bachelor, I was conveniently approached by Matchstick Marketing to participate in a L'Oreal marketing gig. The second they asked me "So, are you interested?" * It is important to note that the trade-off = free mascara * I screamed "Yes! Yes! Yesss!"...while my current tube of drying-out mascara wept "Nooooo! Please don't replace me!".

Too Late.

Stay tuned for the results...or shall I say, dates?

Ode to Expenses

I've reached a point - a critical and oh so crucial point - in my life where I must carefully and seriously watch my "expenses". Not only are my new boots jaw-droppingly-sexy but they are extremely questionable to some. That "some" being my Father. Oh Daddy, such an accountant you are. Literally.

Exhibit A:
Dad: "Where the fuck did those come from?"
Me: "Oh..these silly old things?"
Dad: "Yes, those silly NEW things?"
Me: "Ooooh, ya. Well. They are new..I, uh, I..bought them." (smiling although feeling defeated)
Dad: "No shit. Why?"
Me: "Well I, uh, needed them."
Dad: "I'll bet. Well, sweetie, that's why your money is your money. So don't complain that you have less and less of it these days. What happened to that budget of yours?"

HA! That ended months ago. Hell, that ended before it even began! So...it is time that I, Jessica, vow to keep track of all my expenses..at least, to keep a closer eye on them aka open my fucking eyes to look at the price tag before making a purchase. Yes, I vow to do so.

My Vows:

1. I vow to not bring my VISA out with me to the bar anywhere
2. I vow to not enter a Sephora, Club Monaco, Starbucks (ha, funny) until the New Year...wait, except for x-mas gift shopping?!
3. I vow to record everything that I purchase
4. I vow to....k well, this list is a good enough start. I can feel myself turning over a new leaf already!
   

Happy Shopping,
xo Jess

Get Stupid

A rather empowering video clip shown during Madonna's Sticky N Sweet Tour (which was fucking incredible fyi)

Devil Delicious

I caved. And now, I feel ill.
God bless my 9am workout tomorrow morning. Yikes.

Grad Photos..?

The other day I was like, I should get my grad photo!!! With the fake roses, tasseled hat, and makeshift robe. I figured my Mom and Dad would want one for their wallets. But as I tried to book an appointment...no dice. Behold, an email chain between me and the not-so-helpful-photo-coordinator.

"Hi,

I would like to make a grad photo appointment; however, I cannot meet any of the current available dates specified for my class. I am completely free November 27 & 28 if either of those days work? My schedule is fairly flexible, so let me know what works best.

Best,
Jess"

From: Jessica Muhlbier [mailto:jmuhlbie@uwo.ca]
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 10:20 PM
To: KF Territory General
Subject: grad photos

"Jess,

There are currently no available appointments on the 27^th or 28^th.

We open specific dates for specific groups and then if those appointments are not filled we open them to all other students. These dates are still on reserve for other groups. You may continue to check back to see if when these appointment times open one of them works for your schedule, or you may book an appointment on another date..but I would hurry as there are not many flexible dates or times left. "

Office Coordinator
Lifetouch Photography
University of Western Ontario

...I see. So uh, what do I do?
and note: I sent my email 10 days ago...10 days ago!

Snowflakes & Mittens

The Problem: Lots of Snow

The Solution: Dressing, fashionably, for the Occasion

Yikes

" Your request took too long to complete. This is typically just a temporary error due to high network traffic or heavy usage of Blogger.

Please hit the back button on your browser and try again. If the problem persists, please contact the Blogger Help Group. We apologize for the inconvenience. "

Psh, ya I bet you "apologize for the inconvenience". So I guess this is what happens when you blog like a mad woman. So much for my 17 page paper eh? Yikes.

I can't recall the last time I made my bed...

Meh, I don't seem to mind.

...dreaming.

Addiction or Serious Problem or Both?

hmmm..it's debateable, I know. But remember, I love live for Sephora.

Addiction 101

I usually go through intense phases of things, food, drinks etc; but, S&TC, Sushi, CM, Detox Tea..no, these things are special. I feel as though this so called "addiction" is a permanent way of life. Oh and, Starbucks is on this list as well. But that's a given, let's be serious.

Fun Facts of the Hour

Did you know that despite the hump, a camels spine is straight!?
Did you know that Halle Berry's stunt double, in the movie Catwoman, is a man?!
Did you know that it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky!? (which is kinda ironic since losers and or old people often say "when pigs fly")

Yup, I bet ya didn't know that.

Okay nnnow I'm solely working on my essay and nothing but my essay. Seriously. But not before I get another Starbucks ;)

...sigh

I don't wwwwanna write this paper anymore aka I have yet to start. I'm still drafting my outline/thesis...17 more pages to go...I'm uh, on a roll...

"Vibrant Health"

Ever since my detox, I've been super healthy (minus the nights where I intoxicate my body and come home to devour peanut butter and or jelly; although I do note, both my peanut butter and jelly are now organic..told ya I was "super" healthy). Anyway, in the midst of all my tea drinking, moksha yoga-ing, veggie eating, and vitamin popping ways..I came across some "health brochures" that I picked up from Whole Foods not too long ago. According to these brochures, there are 5 simple steps to "vibrant health" (what a good word choice: vvvvibrant. It just rolls right off the tongue).

These 5 and oh so simple steps to vvvibrant health are:
REDUCE
ELIMINATE
NOURISH
ENERGIZE
WELLNESS
Notice that these 5 words vertically spell "RENEW"..cute eh?

I'll give an informative breakdown of these 5 steps later on (since I know your dying for vibrance) but in the mean time, my sky-high pile of work has my name written all over it. My iCal won't shut up with alarm reminders of "This is due..due...due..hurry up and finish this..due..due..god damnit Jess this is DUE". Yikes.

Happy Wednesday
xo Jess

Let it Snow

Winter time at Western...


Time to break out the hats, gloves, scarfs, jackets, snow-pants galore!! Well, maybe not the snow pants. I don't think those are too fashionable yet. Alas, let it snow..let..it..snow.

Lending a Hand

A small step in the right direction..

Dear Jessica,
Thank you for volunteering for the Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life.
Someone from our office will be contacting you to give you more details about your volunteer role...

For more information: click here

The Library

Today the library is cold and smells of chicken noodle soup. Nasty. I've been here for approximately 6.5 hours, so I think it is fair to say that I can (and should) go home now. Home to where it is warm, cozy, and not so smelly. Like seriously, who eats that Mr. Noodle chicken shit?! It's gross.

Despite my cringe-damn-you-to-hell library attitude, I have completed my A&E Journalism Profile :D It is rather brilliant. I'm gonna do the final edits/fixer-uppers later tonight, after an hour of detox-me-now Moksha Yoga.

...time to put on my hat and mittens for the journey home! And don't you dare comment, London is fucking cold okay?!

Happy Monday!
Love,
Jess

Good Wishes

Lately I've been having this reoccurring dream. When I dream this dream, I wake up in the middle of the night with pins and needles all over me.

It seems that over the past three months, loved ones around me (some closer than others) have been slapped sideways with the rude and unexpected - cancer. Sadly, many of them have already passed.

My grandfather, a friend's father, a friend's brother, a friend's friend...the list is tiring and tearful. I'm thinking of doing some volunteering for the Cancer Society over the Christmas holidays. In the mean time, I am sending good wishes to those in need; and am truly thankful that the people I love forever & dearly are healthy and well.

Nice or Naughty

NICE
...a little something that I bought...*cough* for myself *cough*. I know, I know, terrible! But they were just so tall (aka above the knee), black, stretchy, and pretty, I simply could not resist! They were totally and utterly worth it. I seriously hope Perry doesn't open my next visa statement. Yikes. Alas, I love them. With. All. My. Heart. Merry Christmas.

Right Now

I simply can't get enough of...

Forever

and ever

addicted

"Into the Fire"

Open the doors that lead on in to Eden
don't want no cheap disguise
I follow the signs marked back to the beginning -
no more compromise

And into the fire
I'm reunited
into the fire
I am the spark
into the fire
I yearn for comfort

The Calculation Countdown - Part II

I cannot believe how quickly time is passing me by. There is exactly 23.5 days left of first semester. Christmas lights are up, snow is on the ground, and my deadly-due-dates are approaching near. So the time is now to push, strive, and sprint toward the finish line.
...and I can almost see the finish line.

I'm currently at Starbucks drinking a delicious tea misto, with extra honey and vanilla sprinkles. Starbucks is especially happy due to all the pretty Christmas trimmings...which reminds me, I really need to get going on my x-mas shopping. Eek.

Anyway, I'm trying to focus on a profile assignment for A&E journalism. I'm profiling a talented and rather complex musician. The trouble is narrowing my focus and creating an angle for the lead. I have an abundance of quotes, information, and interesting facts; it's sorting through it all that's the tough part. I'm hoping my creative energy will soon begin to flow. Fingers crossed. Since it is due...hmm...tomorrow. Yippie.

Yes, in 23.5 days it will all be over. I am excited for my first big "sleep-in". Alas, I must enjoy it while it lasts :)

Have a lovely Sunday,
Jess

"By the Way"

"by the way, I tried to say I'd be there..waiting for"

Thought of the Day

If you do not go within, you go without.

Secret Santa

Over the past two years, my roommates and I get together to organize a "Secret Santa". Needless to say, it doesn't stay too "secretive".

K: "So, I figured out who has who for Secret Santa"
J: "What?! How?! You asshole"
K: "You either have E or Me"
J: (damnit) "Uh, no..."
A: "It's supposed to be a secret!"
K: "And you have Jess! Or Emily!"
A: (smiling) "...shut up"
J: "Secret Santa my ass...more like the blabber-mouth-Grinch"
A: "Every year...EVERY year..someone always caves"
J: "Seriously. So K, who do you have?"

Choose Now to Accept

"In life, there is a faster way - a shorter route, a quicker path. That path is acceptance.

Acceptance of Who and What You Are right now - and demonstration of that. This is what Jesus did. It is the path of the Buddha, the way of Krishna, the walk of every Master who has appeared on the planet. And every master has likewise had the same message: Who I am, you are. What I can do, you can do. These things, and more, you shall also do.

...It is far more difficult to deny Who You Are than to accept it. You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. You are these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things.

Choose now to know yourself as these things always."
- an uncommon dialogue

...still reading

Gemini Forecast

You should be feeling fairly positive and optimistic today, and you could be able to make some real progress on a variety of fronts. You might find yourself starting to give a little thought to looking for some type of new job. And if you're just willing to try to make some fresh starts right now, you could find some significant rewards will be coming your way before long.

Don’t be afraid to get things moving by coming up with some constructive new ideas for improving things. Even if you find yourself feeling a little nervous or anxious about certain issues, just realize that fear and insecurity may be the only things holding you back right now.

Love or Fear

"Every action taken by human beings is based in love or fear: decisions affecting relationships, business, industry, politics, religion, the education of your young, the social agenda of your nations, the economic goals of your society, choices involving war, peace, attack, defense, aggression, submission; determinations to covet or give away, to save or to share, to unite or to divide - every single free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thoughts there are: a thought of love or thought of fear.

Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps out bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.

Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the other. You have no choice about this, because there is nothing else from which to choose. But you have free choice about which of these to select."
- an uncommon dialogue

Lately, I have been back and forth within my own thoughts - and this passage has really stuck with me.

"I Think I Know"

How can I decide what’s right

When you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win you’re losing fight
All the time

How could I ever own what’s mine
When you’re always taking sides?
But you won’t take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it’s hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can’t see
What kind of person that you are
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own
...my thoughts you can’t decode

- Paramore "Decode"

Buzzing with Excitment II

Despite a few minor setbacks aka moments of doubt and or slaps-in-the-face, I am still buzzing. Yes, the buzz of excitement is still on people! And it's only getting louder. Like a big bass in your face.

A) I'm in the midst of applying to a masters program at NYU (a tedious mother fucker of an application)
B) I just applied to a media PR paid-internship in the heart of NY
C) I'm close to getting my "Santa Claus" parade coverage published
D) Gemini's are fucking awesome
E) Walking home from sbucks, the first song to come on my ipod shuffle was T&S "Superstar" :)
F) I am just buzzing okay?!
G) and so on and so forth, all the way to Z

buzz
buzz
buzz

Today's Gemini Forecast

You'll probably feel like you could use a break from all the pressures in your life right now. Be sure to take good care of yourself and try to find a healthy way of working off any tensions that might be troubling you today. And no matter how confusing some things might seem at the moment, just realize that many of your most important questions should end up being answered before long.

If you find yourself wishing that you could just escape from the various responsibilities in your life right now, it should help to take a brief little break from things just to clear your mind a bit. It could help to revitalize you a bit and give you the energy you need to deal with the tasks at hand.

I Want The Ocean Right Now

taken in San Francisco

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop"
- Mother Teresa

Friendly Faces, Confined Places

Sometimes it's challenging to make a new-and-true friend - a friend that is more than a kind acquaintance or class buddy. A friend who wants to know you, outside the realm of work or school. I am suddenly reminded of kindergarten; for in kindergarten, you typically only invite your "friends from class" to your birthday party.

And now - 15 years later, at a different time and place - at a school with thousands of people, I know many yet only hang out and party with the some. The some that I have known for the past 2.5 years. Granted, there is nothing wrong with this for I adore my roommates and have fun within my social circle.

Still, I can't help but feel anxious and curious. Curious..to know the life-story of that familiar yet nameless face, who I see everyday around campus. Anxious..to connect with someone new, exciting, and different.

Because the people I meet in class are in fact nice and interesting; so why then, are those people so often confined to the classroom? Why does the stranger who you literally see everyday avoid a smile or a hello? I think there are many friendly faces in this world; but too often, they are confined and bound to specific times or places.

The friends you meet and make in first year university should not form the rest of your school years. The friends you meet and make in a team, club, or sorority should not be your only option for a Friday night party. The friends you meet and make from work should not be confined to a Monday to Friday, 9-5 regime.

I wish and want to meet, mix, and mingle within circles of friends and acquaintances. I want to share and introduce my friends to others. I want nothing more than to expand my horizons, because I truly think I should.

Maybe only the curious, open, and selfless ones are so lucky enough to know the name of a friendly-face, within a confined place. Maybe it's only a select few who cannot see beyond their current tight-knit domain of friendships. Maybe the confined restrictions of institutions are to blame. Or maybe my curiously is simply growing like wild fire, burning both my lungs and heart.

.Seeking. More. Curiously. Yours.

Remembrance Day Story Telling

In grade school, I vividly remember the annual Remembrance Day assembly; sitting in the crowded and musty auditorium, passing around envelopes stuffed full of poppies, and standing for a seemingly long moment of silence. As a young child, I did not understand what I was supposed to “remember” nor did I have a family member with a war story to share of any kind. Instead, I contently sat during the assembly, listening to the veteran’s stories while fiddling with my poppy.

The several veterans who spoke, very old and retired soldiers, painted a story of war for me. Their remembering became my knowledge and yet I wonder, were their stories accurate? Did they purposely censor their stories for us children or did they simply become censored over the many years? Moreover, do their stories really give us, the wide-eyed audience, something truthful to remember?

One would assume that an accurate story derives from the truth; however, a pure and official truth is impossible to exist. The truth constantly suffers from distortion and alteration every time someone tells or retells his or her own version. It is difficult to trust people’s accounts of things when the details become fabricated or forgotten. The veterans who spoke at my elementary school always recalled enough information to fill a ten or twenty minute speech. Their speeches were often humorous, animated, and dramatic; entertaining the audience like an actor or performer would do. It is obvious that separating the “what has happened” - world war two events - from the “what is happening” - speaking on stage – makes it difficult to tell a true story.

“War stories become just that – stories. Just as time distances the storyteller from the events themselves, so do the repeated things. Gradually the stories are embellished in places, honed down in others until they are perfect little tales, even if they bear little resemblance to what actually happened”.

Perhaps the veterans who spoke at my school told their story as best they could, or wrote their story for how they wanted to tell it, or improvised little details due to the on-stage excitement. The many details that you remember from various stories collaborate into one big truth that you essentially create for yourself.

Still, I wonder, are my recollections of the annual elementary school Remembrance Day assembly warped due to my personal growth and maturity? I sit here, struggling to grasp the truth - if any – of both the teller and tale itself as if I were fiddling with my stubborn poppy, falling off my sweater and pricking my thumb.

thought of the day

Whenever in the midst of stress or mixed emotions, I constantly tell myself to act, not react. Granted, it is easier to say than do; but in the heat of the moment, catch yourself and act, don't react.

The Blood Sucker

Your words are sharp and cutting. While you pretend to mean well, your actions scream otherwise. You strive to suck it out of me. You bend over backwards striving and wanting to suck it out of me; my smiles, hopes, dreams, and positive energy.

You want to break me.

You strive to break me. 

You can't break me.

You won't break me.

So just leave me out you blood sucker, name dropper, forced faker, fast talker. Just make it easy and leave me out. Turn off your judgmental-elevator eyes and bite your jealous-sharped tongue. You want and strive, but you will not break me.

One day, you will scan the credits for your name and wonder why it's not there. 

...I see right through you, you blood-sucker.

The Organic Craze - Unleashed

Aside from the chicken steroid horror, many recent studies have concluded that organic farming:
a) Reduces the amount of toxic chemicals ingested
b) Totally avoids genetically modified organisms; such as preservative or coloring genes.
c) Increases the amount of beneficial vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids and antioxidants consumed 

AND
d) Appears to have the potential to lower the occurrence of common conditions such as cancer, coronary heart disease, allergies and hyperactivity in children.

I am currently writing an "informative speech" on why organic is the way to go. My big speech debut is tomorrow night at 7PM, so I'd better get cracking! 

Wish me luck,

xo Jess

One Evening

The evening was long
My guesses were true
You saw me see you
That something you said
The timing was right
The pleasure was mine

The time and the place
The look on your face
Sincerest eyes

If you're ready or not
The state of our hearts
There's no time to take

When we started
Both brokenhearted
Not believing
It could begin and end in one evening

- Feist

5 Week Countdown

There is exactly 5 weeks until I am home for xmas break. Yup, it's crunch time alright. My iCal is overflowing with ugly deadlines and due dates. 

This is just a taste...

My eye is on the prize, I am running towards the finish line.

Is it wrong that I really really like this song?

Sunday Morning

Sunday, bloody Sunday.

I am trying to remember why my head hurts... I blame the vodka soda aftermath. I guess drinking, "thought junk", and a lack of dinner typically results in a) getting "drunk" rather quickly and b) a reflection of the evening that begins with "....fuck".

I just guzzled a big water bottle..am starting to feel rather excellent aka slowly, but surely improving.

It's now raining. How appropriate.

"Tear You Apart"

Got a big plan, this mindset, maybe its right,
at the right place and right time, maybe tonight.
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign.
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind.

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak.
And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak.
An escape is just a nod, and a casual wave..
obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away.
It's just like all the others it'll go away.
Or maybe this is danger, and you just don't know..
you pray it all away, but it continues to grow.

I want to hold you close.
Skin pressed against me tight.
Lie still, and close your eyes girl boy.
So lovely, it feels so right.

I want to hold you close.
As I whisper in your ear..
I want to f*cking tear you apart

Then he she walked up and told her him, thinking that he'd she'd passed..
And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her his hand brushed up against his hers, she he left it there
Told him her how she he felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do?
Cause theres always repercussions, when you're dating in school.
But their lips met, and reservations started to pass.
Whether this was just an evening, or a thing that would last.

Either way he she wanted her him and this was bad.
He She wanted to do things to her him, it was making him her crazy.
Now a little crush turned into a like..
and now he she wants to grab her him by the hair and tell her him,

I want to hold you close.
Skin pressed against me tight.
Lie still, and close your eyes girl boy.
So lovely, it feels so right.
I want to f*cking tear you apart.

My Dad

My Dad has always managed to keep me sane. He is patient, charismatic, optimistic; and above all, he listens. He listens to my dreams, insecurities, goals, and stresses. He listens because he genuinely wants to know. Waking to up to a rather difficult morning in the Muhlbier household; all was well and better, once I talked to my Dad.

He just listened as I poured my heart out - he listened, then responded lovingly and accordingly. I owe him so much, for he is my perfect example. If I have kids someday, I can only hope to be half the parent he is.

X-Mas List

Yes folks, it's that time of year again - Christmas! Time to draft up my wish-list. Hopefully Santa aka CindyG sees how "nice" I have been this year.

The Glorious List:
(still in the midst of strategic brainstorming)

1. Club Monaco (the entire store..if possible? Too much?)
   
2. A Blackberry the iPhone
3. Starbucks Card
   
4. Coach clutch (and not the stupid little thingy that everyone has..duh GUY)
5. Leather gloves
6. The Sex & The City Movie - DVD
7. Sephora gift card
   
8. Body Shop body butter
9. Shoes (style yet to be decided..)
10. lu-lu-lemon socks
11. Perfume (hmm to replace my current Tom Ford or to get a new scent?!)

Wew, I need to come back to this. Such a list deserves serious thought, in order for it to be as specific as possible :P Ooo Christmas, how I love you so.

"There is more than blood that beats through my heart.
My hands, my feet - stuck between my tongue and my teeth.
We don't know, so we wait for tomorrow.
We don't know, so we wait for tomorrow
We don't know, so we only go forward"
- T&S

"So Glad" - literally

I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate zip-lock bags. lol..but actually. I mean honestly, how handy are zip-lock bags?! I say, they are the handiest. I am currently snacking on some carrots - in a zip-lock bag. And when I was packing, I tossed my makeup basics - in what you ask? Why, a zippy-bag of course! Oo man, life just wouldn't be the same without them.

Morning Sunshine,

Good morning!

Today is a jam-packed day - my iCal says so. I have already crossed off a few things, thank goodness. I love tackling a deadly "to do" list first thing in the morning.

9:00AM - breakfast & finish journalism piece
10:00AM - throw laundry in, hand in assignment at MIT office before 11AM
11:00AM - gym (getting back into my weight routine, how exciting!)
12:30 - shower, eat, clean!
1:00 - pack
2:30 - embark on a quick trip

...the list goes on, but I will refrain from boring you to death :)

Have a great morning!
xo Jess

Gemini Forecast:

"Your success will depend largely on your own efforts right now. So try to do things your own way, and don't let anyone or anything get in your way or slow you down. You won't have much use for the restrictions of others today, so just try to make an effort to rise above it all if you can. You can probably get a lot more done by yourself at this time because other people are only likely to provide you with plenty of distractions right now. Even though you might be craving a little fun and excitement, just try to keep focused on the big picture and don’t let yourself get sidetracked by other issues"

The Buzz

Lately I have been delving into many different possibilities; literally tapping into serious research, research, and more research. Not only in regards to my future plans, goals, and dreams; but in the world around me. I feel like curious George, I want to know and explore everything.

This morning I set up my first "real" journalistic interview (no longer do I have to make up quotes for my Santa Claus parade coverage..few!). I couldn't be more excited. And luckily, the deadline is extended until tomorrow afternoon! This gives me an extra day to a) incorporate the interview and b) revamp my story. I cannot wait. There is something fascinating about finding a story and creating an angle in order to capture an audience. Even though I am covering a seemingly light and fluffy feature story (oo aaa merry xmas parade, right? wrong), I found a way to dig deeper. I discovered that due to recent market turmoil, the 08' committee faced numerous challenges this year etc.. Suddenly, my Santa Claus parade coverage is a rich and raw story.

* searching, exploring, creating, sharing *

With all the possibilities buzzing around me, it's amazing to think where I was last year around this time. I flash back and remember feeling stressed and unsure; bending over-backwards, without a goal or purpose in mind. And now, I feel as though I am sitting on the tip of an iceberg - and everyday, a little more of that "bigger picture" begins to show; so for the first time in a while, I feel and am balanced.

journalism, writing, love, marketing, San Francisco, friends, graduation, interviews, security, viral marketing, Wired Magazine, health, dreams, crowdsourcing, advertising, condos, ticket prices, Toronto, blogging, networking, "where will we be in 6 years?",
...the buzz is deafening.

Update:

Regarding my Santa Claus Parade feature story..mm ya, I am super sneaky. Since it was virtually impossible to contact anyone from the parade committee (like, wtf are they even doing?!), I decided to "interview" an elf participant. And by interview I mean..make up both a false identity and false quotes, in order to support my piece. Sheer brilliance, I know :)

Despite sitting in my evening class (which is oh so boring), I am smiling uncontrollably.
...I can hardly contain myself! But actually.

Have a great evening,
xo Jess

Journalism

Journalism is a lot harder than it seems. I am in the midst of covering the London Santa Claus Parade which kicks off Saturday Nov. 15. Early eh? (don't ask why I am covering the parade..it's a long story. Basically, my "Christmas in the Media" story was too "edgy" and "political" for A&E journalism) Anyway, the difficulty is hunting people down for good, solid, and effective quotes.

Some tid-bits from my hopefully-soon to be-published-article:
"In the midst of autumn, it begins to feel a lot like Christmas. While pumpkins are still in harvest, slay bells are already jingling as Santa Claus plans to visit London rather early this year. With plenty of Halloween candy yet to be eaten, the annual STARMAIL Santa Claus parade gets ready to march down Dundas Street on Saturday, Nov. 15."

* * *

"Despite the autumn leaves and lack of snow, the parade committee is eager and ready to kick off the spirit of Christmas with an array of floats, bands, clowns, horses, acrobats, elves and of course, Santa Claus himself. With approximately 100,000 spectators and broadcast viewers, the STARMAIL Santa Claus parade is gearing up to be London’s biggest community event of the year."

Oooh London, so full of good and early Christmas cheer lol. Aaand yikes, my piece is due tomorrow at 12:30 sharp. I still need quotes! Yikes.

Good Morning

Goooooood Morning!

I woke up early this morning feeling completely refreshed and well rested, ahhh :) Such a good feeling. Today is a new day, a better day, a more exciting day..I can feel it! And lately, I've been feeling it all.

I'm currently at the library, focused and motivated, to complete my sky-high pile of work! Yup, it's so happening.

:) Happy Tuesday,
xo Jess

At Ease

"running against the wind
playing the cards you get
something is bound to give"

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Thanks N :)

Goodnight,
xo Jess

Happy Monday..mm nah

After a full day of slaving away at the library...I still have mountains of work to complete, which is conveniently all due on Wednesday. Why does that always seem to happen? Can't profs talk amongst themselves and space out the friggin' due dates?! Ooh baby, I cannot WAIT till Wednesday evening (at approx. 10PM) for my bullshit amount of work to be over. On top of drowning in work, I am extremely restless, irritated, and anxious. So I guess it's cheers to a not-so-peachy-keen-Monday. I'm debating whether or not I should hit up tonight's 8:30 Moksha yoga class..
debating..work..yoga..work..yoga..debating..yup, yoga, yoga, yoga!

And I could go for some serious spicy broccoli and mean vodka sodas...uhh, is it Thursday yet?

Christmas in the Media

Food for Thought: Xmas & The Media
In the midst of October, once the leaves change color and the wind feels crisp, it begins to feel a lot like Christmas. While pumpkins are still in harvest, department stores set up their polyester Christmas trees for display. There is something about Christmas that is both produced and enhanced by the media so much so, that the slay bells are jingling, with neither Santa nor a snowflake in sight.

Celebrating Christmas with the media has become an annual ritual amongst our society, which only gets bigger and brighter each year. The media successfully satisfies our need to see, hear, taste, touch, and smell by merging the holidays with virtually everything. Christmas time is consumerism time; so naturally, the media strives to push it forward on our calendar. Without the increasingly early saturation of Christmas in the media, our “Christmas spirit”, as we know it, would be radically different; which begs the question, are we really in the spirit of Christmas or are our senses simply on Holiday overload?

This is something that I am currently writing for my Arts & Entertainment Journalism "Media Trend" Piece. It's due this Wednesday, so I still have a lot of work to do :S. Wish me luck!
:) Jess

Happy Monday

Good morning,

I hope you are feeling energized and ready to embrace the new week. I certainly am; although come to think of it, I could use an energy boost. Thus, I cannot wait for my 11:30AM Starbucks fix aka cure. Oh Starbucks, how I love you so. I'm currently in class, looking rather bored in the front row. I always sit in the front. In fact, I am the only keener sitting in the front row (that's right, I'm a keener); granted, it's a small seminar room but still..I guess everyone else is fraidy-cats. You see, comfortably sitting in the front row is my sneaky tactic to get "buddy buddy" with the prof. FYI: to enhance this tactic, you should drop in to his/her office-hours every now and then. If you combine the "front row" tactic with the "office-hour" tactic, you're golden. It never fails.

Now go grab a Starbucks and have a great Monday!
xx Jess

Simple Truths

Simple truths aka a replacement for the Starbucks "The Way I See It's" - with many many #26's, in order to wipe out the existing one (yes, day and night, Starbucks continues to bombard me with #26). Anyway, behold my Simple Truths (and don't lie, "simple truths" has sssuch a good ring to it!)

Simple Truth and or formally known as "the way I see it"
#1: There is no reason why a person cannot have two, three, or more careers in the course of life. No amount of money or security is worth living an unhappy routine that has killed your dreams.
#2: Be a giver and a sharer - a lesson learned in kindergarten, which many of us have forgotten.
#3: The small details and simple gestures of caring and compassion can really brighten someone's day.
#4: Many people fear being alone because they only associate it with loneliness. Both these words have two very different meanings.
#5: Remember to say "please" and "thank you" or else you may look like a jack-ass
#6: If you feel lost, begin to find yourself by accepting where you are.
#7: If you are tired, go to bed or take a nap.
#8: Avoid debt whenever possible (this includes shopping online and entering Sephora without a purpose and or cause)

There you have it, some good wisdom and simple truths (hopefully you foresee "Simple Truths" on the back of Starbucks cups...hmm, maybe I'll draft up a proposal)

Goodnight,
xx - Jess

Hip-Hop Yoga

So my roommates and I, A & K, went to what we thought was a good ol' hour of relaxational (ps relaxational should be a word thus, I am making it a word) Moksha Yoga. Oh goodness were we in for a surprise. Instead of a traditional class of Moksha yoga, we were actually in a special (and I mean special) class of Hip-Hop combined with Moksha Yoga. I repeat, hip-hop + Moksha (hot) yoga. Yup, hip-hop-yoga. Yikes, right?

Well, actually...it was pretty fun. Needless to say we looked like idiots, clapping our hands and repeating "YES WE CAN!", and then moving into "b-boy position with ultra attitude". Yes, it was a whole new yoga experience, with gangsta rap toboot (which made A quite happy since she is currently obsessed with "pop-a-wheely-wheezy-baby"...ya, don't ask). All in all, it was a fun way to sweat, laugh, and let go at the end of the day.

Full Circle

I truly believe that life has a way of coming full circle. This past Halloween evening, I ran into two faces from my past: the first was an ex from High School, who at the time seemingly broke me into a million pieces; while the second, was someone who's heart I broke. On both run-ins, nothing was exchanged for nothing was there. It simply was. And in seeing both faces - polar opposite on the spectrum - I can't explain the feeling other than liberating, strange, and reassuring. Strange in the sense because..seriously, what are the odds? And reassuring in the sense that time is crucial, it can heal a broken heart and ease a rattled mind. In time, everything eventually unfolds and makes sense. The "thought junk" is no longer junk because it isn't even a thought.

And now, despite new hurt and irregardless of unanswered questions, I am content and focused with an open mind and open heart.

"All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment"

Almost

almost finished
almost over
almost friends
almost lovers
almost winter
almost summer
almost night
almost morning
almost what you wanted
almost, but not quite

because almost doesn't count

"think of u"

it’s one hundred and nine degrees
in this crowded room,
no room to breathe
with walls as cold as a gallery
this is no place for me

such hard faces set in smoke,
the smell lingers in my clothes,
it’s a bad night to be alone
but that’s the way it goes,

...outch

This morning I really rrreally felt the vodka soda effect. I woke up - thirsty and in pain - next to my other half. My "thirst" was from an intense combination of post-bar Chinese hot n' sour soup (don't ask) and a disgusting amount of vodka that my little (now shriveled) liver consumed. Hmmm, I blame the soup. I think my "pain" is a result of either a) walking around downtown...*cough* barefoot *cough* or b) coming home at 5:30AM and passing out in a very odd and uncomfortable position.

I'm currently on the VIA Rail (ya, ya, I'm back on the fucking train...with the slowest internet signal in the wwworld) cradling a massive bottle of water and popping Advil like no tomorrow. Oh ya, and the guy beside me is drinking several beers. mm yup, brilliant.

Halloween 08'