Costume Status

I have all the necessary materials for my Poison Ivy costume; even though I have yet to actually put it all together. Eek! But I figure that both my arts & crafts skills from Kindergarten and my current scrap-booking abilities will come in handy...wew, they'd better. Or else I may not be too poisonous.
I've purchased the following:
- Ivy aka plastic Christmas holly (I'll have to do something about the tacky red flowers)
- a body suit
- green undies
- and perhaps some real live flowers? It's debatable, live garments are usually risky...

Let the arts & crafts begin! Wish me luck!

xo Jess

Happy Halloween

Splurge

...I feel rather ill.

My other half N and I baked homemade banana bread aka I baked while she sprinkled in chocolate chips and licked the batter (okay fine, we both licked the batter).

We splurged fine, I "splurged" had a weak moment thus gave into the freshly baked banana bread...with jam (I blame N for the "jam"), then peanut butter, then jam, then honey, then carrot cake, then back to jam, then on to veggies i.e. carrots with hummus (although N was the one to crack open the dip; not to mention, several celery stalks with honey mustard...ya, barf). Mmm jam, so tasty. Although, ya like I said...I feel rather ill.

Good thing I have "2 hours @ the gym" i-Caled for tomorrow morning aka OMG tomorrow is must-look-skinny-Halloween-weekend! Whoops.

Halloween 101

The Verdict: Poison Ivy
Costume Details: TBA aka I have yet to actually purchase...well, anything. But don't worry, I envision something fantastic!
Side Note: I half-jokingly told my Dad that I was going trick-or-treating but he said, and I quote "Absolutely not". I suppose it would be a tad inappropriate. So the alternative is...Halloween baked goods (ghost and witch cookie goodness) + vodka sodas + damn good company + drunken laughter + night on the town + aaamazing, I am so excited!!!

It's A Hit

Any asshole can open up a museum;
put all of the things he loves on display,
so everyone can see them:
the house, the car, a thoughtful wife.
Ordinary moments in his ordinary life.
But if she blinks or smiles, she'll give you away;
cause no one wants to pay to see her happiness.
No one wants to pay to see her day to day.
And I'm not buying it either.

Any idiot can play Greek for a day
and join a sorority or write a tragedy;
and articulate all that pain, and maybe you'll get paid.
But it's a sin when success complains,
And your writers block - it don't mean shit.
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

Gotta write a hit -- I think this is it.

- Rilo Kiley

VIA - Part II

Oh VIA Rail Canada...where to even begin.
Okay so that "LOL" moment I mentioned earlier goes a little something like this...

Scenario: I, Jessica, am contemplating "mmm to chocolate or not to chocolate" as the VIA Rail snack-cart lady goes by. Once she gets to me, I complete my tricky contemplation process. Uhh, chocolate, yup! FYI: I worked out today aaaaand just finished a detox so I think it's justifiable.

Me (to cart lady): "hmm what kind of chocolate do you have?" (even though already I notice the options A) Kit-Kat or B) AERO)
Cart-Lady: "mmm, just Kit-Kat"
Me (in my head): LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR "Oh...hmmm...k...hmmm"
Cart-Lady: "Want me to come back to you after I finish this row?"
Me: "Sure, sounds good, I'll decide then."
(Cart-Lady comes back - in a hurry - as she tries to sneak her multiple AERO bars by me)
Me: "Oh wwwait, I'll have an AERO bar please!"
Cart-Lady (looking rather miserable aka defeated): "Oh...didn't think I had any left"
Me (in my head): ssssssssure "Thank you :D :D :D"

The end result:
Mission chocolate, complete! VIA Rail lady, looking super sad and AERO-bar-less. My taste buds, unbelievably satisfied. Brilliance.

VIA

...umm so, I just purchased the "VIA RAIL" Internet. lol ya, right? Why would I do such a thing? Well...I'm not quite sure. But the good news is, I now have really shitty internet access for two months, every time I travel VIA Rail (pun intended). Yippie. It's particularly funny because I decided to purchase this VIA-wow-what-a-deal internet 30 minutes until my final destination stop, home aka Toronto. It seems rather pointless, I know, I know.

Ah I gotta get off the train now; but once I return home (to a real internet connection) I will A) blog the details of my foolish internet purchase and B) reveal an LOL moment regarding a greedy VIA Rail employee who tried to scam my chocolate options...and I quote, "just Kit-Kat"

xo
Jess

Happy Hump Day

I tend to like Wednesday's aka "hump day". On Wednesday, the week begins to unfold as the weekend peeks around the corner. Yes, Wednesday's are a good day. On this particular Wednesday, I have many obligations that need to be met i.e. my A&E Journalism feature story, my overflowing pile of laundry, my intense weight routine workout (seriously, it's an obligation), my career "counselor" meeting about potential grad school applications, packing for my quick-trip back to Toronto, and hmmm there is more I just know it!

Basically, tricky situations require my attention today. To add to the trickyness, the "unexpected" is seemingly throwing me off...but just a little. I'm really just trying to focus on how I can accomplish my tasks at hand with "maximum efficiency". It's difficult because all I wanna do is get cozy, curl up, and take a cat nap...I think it's the snow, it usually has that effect on me. But on this Wednesday, I'm a resister and a fighter; because instead, I'm currently at the library drinking a tall breakfast blend of Starbucks coffee (coffee?! :O I know..bad idea. We all know that caffeine and I do NOT mix). But it's actually quite tasty, after a couple Splenda's of course. Oh the joys of no-calorie sweetener.

...hmmm okay, I should probably get back to my "obligations", I wouldn't wanna fuck up my chances of maximum efficiency already! Alas, it's only noon :)

Happy Wednesday!
xx Jess

iReport for CNN

CNN get's an A for effort.
Not to mention, John Stewart is fucking hilariousssss.

Countdown

There are 6 weeks until I am finished class/finals and home for Christmas break. My reaction: shocked, appalled, holy-omg-where-does-the-time-go?! It's officially go hard or go home "crunch time" mode...hmm, starting after Halloween weekend.

MSN Convo - with my Mom

Cindy: "Hi Jess. Wuzzup?"
Me: "Hey Mom...did you just say wuzzup?"
Cindy: "Ya. It means, 'what's up'"
Me: "lol..ya, I know what it means Mom, thanks"
Cindy: "OK. So, how are you today? Have lots of classes? How is your work load? When are you coming home? When is your reading week break, your father would like to know if you want to go away?"
Me: "Ah! Slow down! 21 questions much!"
Cindy: "Don't be so lippy Jessie"
Me: "I'm not lol...ah nevermind. I'm doing well. No didn't have a lot of class today. Work load is OK. Coming home Wednesday evening. Reading week is the second week of Feb. I think"
Cindy: "OK. Gotta run. LOVE Mom"
Me: "Bye! xo"
Cindy: "LOVE Mom"
Me: "Oh okay, love you too!"

....oh Cindy. There are no words :)
Note to self: avoid MSN and or block Mother.

Lady Like

According to some, giving the middle finger is "un-lady like". Well, in my opinion, sometimes the middle finger is rather necessary. In making a point, actions tend to speak louder than words; and realistically, the middle finger is a damn good action.

Exhibit A:
This past Saturday night, some guy tried to bud me in line at the ATM...thus, the middle finger.
Exhibit B:
(this is a good one) Walking to Starbucks - after a rain shower - a car splashed me and then proceeded to laugh at me. And I repeat: the asshole splashed, laughed, and kept on driving! Yup, he got the middle finger alright. Legit, right?

Un-lady like, rude, offensive, mean, childish; whatever you think it is, you can't deny that giving the middle finger just feels so good. Besides, everyone does it!



Even Georgy knows how it is.

Note To Self: Get Naked & Rule the World

My first stop (more or less) is: Wired Magazine. AKA appear on the cover and star in the feature story. You may ask, on what exactly? Well, on my contribution to grassroots journalism, my blog, my life, my ultimate charm, and good looks of course! It's not rocket science.

The Way I See It

As a regular an addicted Starbucks drinker, I always seem to get "The Way I See It" #26. If I don't get #26, the runner-up tends to be #21. Now, #26 rambles on about the dangers of success and blah blah blah. It's bullshit. My favorite Starbucks barista (who also noted my #26-cup-curse) took matters into his own hands.

Behold - The "new and improved" Way I See It



Damn straight I will be successful. And that's the way I see it.

Chewy Goodness

"7 Whole Grains on a Mission"
Mission...amazing!

I feel as though Kashi bars helped to cure my hangover aka answered my fucking prayers (well that, and Starbucks. Duh.) If I were stranded on an island and could have one thing, I would probably ask for some Kashi granola goodness...oo wait, and perhaps some lip balm. And a Starbucks...and while I'm at it, maybe a Sephora?
...suddenly, I want to be stranded.

"I'm never drinking again"

Today has been a long day of sufferings. On more than one account, my roommates and I have all said "ffffuck, I am never drinking again". This is a dirty lie. We will suffer, complain, and then repeat, come next weekend. So silly we are.

The Hangover Effect

The hangover effect is more than often a result of the "vodka soda effect" aka the deadly aftermath. After a night of multiple vodka sodas and dirty shots-that-taste-like-candy, my head and stomach feel rather...ill. The hangover effect can be cured or at least suppressed with the following equation: (water + Advil + breakfast + Starbucks)

Water - check
Advil - check
Breakfast (Kashi cereal) - check
Starbucks - soon-to-be-double-fucking-check

The Vodka Soda Effect

The vodka soda effect is an equation; affecting both your liver and the majority of your senses, which 90% of the time results in the most positive of adventures.

The equation is as follows:
(vodka + soda + lime) + (downtown + music + friends aka "the family") - coherent-ness (in Seanald's case - pants) = haha-talking-faster-than-usual aka I. Am. Wasted.

The effect is rather brilliant.

A Beautiful Day

In the company of myself, I had an enjoyable day consisting of a morning workout, a midday Starbucks, and an afternoon grocery shop at the London Market. Soon I'll top my day off with a 90-minute yoga class (which will officially "end" my detox"...since I'm clearly consuming a lot of Vodka Soda's tomorrow night).

Despite the gloomy-sky weather, I was quite content with walking around till my feet ached. As per usual, Starbucks was delicious (even though I resisted my regular mm-caffeine-latte-goodness) and the market was well, perfect. Like I said, it's probably the happiest place in London; which is funny since you have to pass through the sketchy-downtown-crackhead hangout in order to get to it...meh, it's like passing through hell to get to heaven. So worth it.

At the market I picked up some of my favorites: blueberries, raspberries, apples, tofu, and soy milk. Yum-o. FYI: I am getting back to my hardcore-super healthy-workout ways. It's like preparing for my "summertime bikini bod" all over again, minus the summer bit.

Although my afternoon was both enjoyable and relaxing, I can't help but feel slightly unsatisfied. In my wanderings, my mind was formulating copious amounts of "thought junk". (PS, Copious - great word. I wish I could use it more often..) So ya, my mind was wandering left and right in various aspects of my life. After a long Skype chat last night with my other half N...a suppressed feeling is now more apparent and clearer than ever. As always, she helped to enlighten my "thought junk" by pointing me in the right direction. Alas, that's what best friends are for :)

In the midst of re-thinking everything that her and I had chatted about, I wanted to (aside from hopping on the next train home to meet "the family" at Fresh or all you can eat Sushi)...I wanted to fastforward through all the bullshit and stop at the sensible stuff. The "stuff" and overall outcome that I am literally craving. It's as if watching the fall leaves change color, they must slowly change color before they can fall to the ground.

"Fool" - Cat Power

Come Along Fool
A direct hit of the senses till you are disconnected
It's not that it's bad -
It's not that it's death -
It's just on the tip of your tongue,
and you're so silent

Feel the Burn - Cardio Song

The London Market

I have discovered (thanks to wanderings with my other half) the nicest and happiest place in London...(London, Ontario that is) This nice and happy place I speak of is...
The Covent Garden Market

Every type of food you possibily dream of is there. Fresh fruits, veggies, cheeses, and oooh goodness, it is simply fantastic. It is a little overwhelming, especially once you get to the "dip" sections. Hummus in 10000 different flavors?! Ya, it's overwhelming alright. I could spend hours wandering, ooh-ing, and aww-ing at all the different options. Good thing my detox is winding down to a close so I can actually make some tasty food purchases :P

Detox Status

It's still on bitches!
Moksha yoga-ing-tea drinking-and peanut butter craving...it is still on.

Hey Canada..did you vote?

"there are plenty of other fish in the sea"

We have all heard the cheesy lame dissatisfying and utterly annoying line "well, there are other fish in the sea". Sadly, this is one of my Moms favorites. Aww gee..thanks? Not that I'm looking for a "fish" to interfere with my busy-single-eye-on-the-prize-go-go-go-lifestyle at this particular moment per-say (although dating is rather fun..and..consistant sex is kinda nice)...but back to the point at stake, let's analyze this line for a second.

Where did it come from? Why fish? Why the sea? Did a Man or Woman say it? Who the fuck is responsible for crafting this childish and tacky analogy of "dating" versus "fish in the sea"? I want to smack them.

...like, hello!!!
A) Fish are slimy
B) Fish have scales
C) Fish are cold-blooded-egg-laying-worm-eating yucky creatures!

Because personally, if I had (aka if I was forced) to swim within the deep blue sea...gimmie a shark damnit! Give me a whale, or a rare and exotic fish. Give me something worth swimming and or drowning for.

Or simply, come up with a more mature and adult analogy that doesn't allude to a child's coloring book.
..."there are plenty of other fish in the sea" mmm ya, I'll pass.

LOL Moment

Scenario: in the library, contently studying until I (and everyone around me) is interrupted by a guy and his blaring ipod. Not only was his music SO loud but it was such a LAME song. Poor guy. Everyone was giggling and whispering "...what-the-fuck?".

The song..."Stop and Stare" by One Republic. Yup, lame.

He finally clued in once he realized that everyone was in fact laughing at him. He then awkwardly turned down his ipod...and probably (or at least, I hope) changed the song.

I love awkward library moments awkward moments in general.

Eye on the Prize

In front of me - on my bulletin board - is my UWO "academic record". A record that both outlines my graduation module and highlights all of my grades to date. I'm so close, I can taste it.

When the going gets tough I just tell myself:
- stay focused Jess
- murder these courses
- just fucking ace it
- 09' 09' 09'!!!

Yes...my eye is on the prize.

Dear "The Guy": Not Caving

And I quote "the guy": "that freshly detoxed (she is so caving soon) guilt-free-binge is coming home too..that means the family is having a reunion!! hide your vegan cakes & vodka..."

Pardon? ...do you realize that I have gone DAYS without my fruit-soy-Kashi-cereal-combo-goodness?! Do you realize?!

Listen GUY...I will not and am not caving. Bite me.

Love,
Jess

PS SO excited for vodka sodas. Gimme gimme gimme!

"stress adds flavor" - Jess Muhlbier

So the other day I mentioned that stress, in fact, adds flavor.

Well right now my taste buds are on fire. Flavor overload. I have a million and one things to to; obligations, priorities, deadlines...you name it. My iCal is so full, it's blinding (aka remind me, why am I blogging at the moment?).

Yesterday I was smacked in the face with a ssslight reality check. Reality check 101: This is my last year at UWO, the semester is almost over, and I have yet to receive any fantastic-brilliant-outstanding-pat-on-the-back-worthy grades. And I could really go for a pat-on-the-back...

Damnit.

Looks like I will have to crush out some serious hours at the library asap...as well as squeeze in time for yoga, grocery shopping (currently detoxing aka blessing in disguise much?!), Halloween costume designing, blogging (let's be serious), iTunes store browsing (I should rethink this one...?), and obviously spending time with my favorite people.

But look on the bright side: Stress adds flavor. Tasty. Tasty. Flavor.

Day III

Exhausted.

...and still craving peanut-butter.

"bite me"

bite me...I forgot what a great line it is. I think I will add it back into my vocabulary.

The Demo Speech

The demo speech can bite me.

A) I didn't start the "timer" on time
B) I was nervous as hell
C) The guy in the front row was staring at my ass. Perv.

To top the cake, I got a poor mark back at the end of class.

Bite me.

Google Analytics

2, 189 independent page views and counting. Average time on site, 8 minutes and 32 seconds.

I knew there were some addicts out there :P

Thanks guys,
xo J

...craving

Currently experiencing peanut-butter and Kashi cereal withdrawal...I LOVE detoxing. I love detoxing. I. Love. Detoxing. Detox. Detox. You. Are. Loved. Day II and I am already deranged and crazy. Excellent.

Why peanut-butter and Kashi cereal you ask? Umm...because I love them so.

Is it Saturday yet? More importantly, is it year 2009 yet?! I have all these plans, ideas, goals, and things to do...but my execution can't exactly start until I a) graduate and b) move the fuck out of London. Specifically, move the fuck out of London bit. No offense to any locals; there is nothing wrong with London...London is a..hmm..very..uh, lovely city.

Before the day is done..

4:30-6:30PM
Laundry, yoga demo-speech practice (aka for the first time, yippie), and dinner (oh wait just kidding, I'm detoxing..but I just want lemon-pepper-sugar water anyway thanks).
7PM-10PM
Speech time! oh dear...for the love of an A+, please wish me luck.
10PM-Bedtime
Avoid all computer-related distractions...must catch up on readings. Also, avoid the new issue of Women's Health that is sitting on your bed. And thus, do not read in bed.

Today's Gemini Forecast

Your social life might really be on the upswing at the moment, and you should find yourself in an extremely talkative mood today. So take the opportunity to spend as much time as you can reconnecting with your friends and loved ones right now. You might realize just how loved and appreciated you really are. It'd also be an excellent time to reflect on any goals or aspirations that you've set out for yourself recently. It’s a great day for enjoying the company of friends, neighbors and relatives, and you’re likely to feel completely at ease with everyone you meet today.

I lllike it, I like it a lot.

Costume Ordeal

Hmmm what shall I be for Halloween. As a female, it's important to balance the appropriate amount of class, scandal, and originality. Last year I was Tinkerbell which was nothing but "awww cute costume, you're such a cute little Tinkerbell". This year, mm ya..not so much; let's just say I'm aiming for a differentt reaction.

My "brainstorming" thus far:
- Posion Ivy

- Bollywood dancer

- Little Mermaid

Okay so realistically, I can scratch Little Mermaid off the list...I think I was a Mermaid when I was 7 or 8-years old. And you can't repeat costumes! Not to mention, it has "cutie" written all over it.

Detox - Day II

Only 5.5 more days to go! Fuck me. This feels like eternity. But I cannot and will not give up because a) that would make me a giver-upper b) the "good weight" is literally melting off and c) Halloween is just around the corner aka the must-look-skinny weekend. So really, it's for my own damn good.

This morning I woke up at 7:30, made my detox tea to-go, then walked downtown to a 9:30AM Moksha Yoga class (yoga in really hot temperatures aka steam room). Yoga was great. It was a small class, taught by my favorite instructor - his voice alone completely and utterly "zens you out", I swear. He is brilliant.

After Yoga I walked back home, only to pass a Starbucks along my way...torture much?! I tried to tell myself NO I do not feel like a skinny-vanilla-latte or a oh-so-tasty-nonfat-caramel-macchiato today. Arg, It was hard. Really hard. Instead, I gullped my lemon-peppered water and continued on home. How impressed are you? The Starbucks whore managed to stand up a date with Starbucks! (dirty and slightly cheesy analogy, but you know what I'm talking about) So yup, you're impressed. Thanks..oh gosh, really, it was nothing!

11:44AM, I just had a few orange slices. I think I savored every tiny juice-drop. Just about to pack my spinach-tomato salad delight and make my way to the library. I hope no one at the library pounds back bulk-candy or sips loudly on there hot Starbucks coffee...if so, I may have to punch them out. Hello, ssssome people are trying to detox here!

Gotta love em'...God help them

Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dumb are officially bloggers! They are both hilarious, brilliant, kind, generous, and so much more; thus, they are two of my dearest and most awesomest friends.

Check out what they have to say...if you dare.

Patrick aka "the guy" (label chosen by me, aa thank you):
http://followtheguy.blogspot.com/

Sean aka "the bestfriend" (literally):
http://listentoyourbestfriend.blogspot.com/

FYI P&S...love it. Seriously, love it.

M-Dolla Concert Pics

Food for Thought: The Irony of Stress

At some point in our lives, we have all been or felt "stressed". Perhaps over an exam, career decision, relationship issue, or maybe even over last minute Christmas shopping. Whatever the case be, shit happens...stress happens.

Yet despite the bad reputation that stress often gets; without it, life would be dull and unexciting. Personally, I would rather be busy, stimulated, and jam-packed with "to do lists" than be deadline free. Whether we like it or not stress adds flavor, challenge, and opportunity.

It's only on the contrary once too much stress begins to negatively affect both our physical and mental well-being.

Human Nature

For good measure...

Express Yourself - Don't Repress Yourself

Walking home from a quick grocery run, my mind began to wander in a million different directions. Granted, I was walking briskly while listening to my music, which definitely tends to enhance "mind wandering". And in my wanderings, Human Nature by Madonna came onto my ipod which got me thinking, why do so many of us censor either how we feel or what we think? Why is it so scary to actually be mad, be sad, be happy, be sexy or to say what we really mean and really want to say? Who and what are we suppressing it for?

Depending on the scenario, maybe we care or worry too much of the outcome, maybe we are fearful, or maybe we are simply selfish. All of these may exist; but for all the times that you've truly expressed what you think or how you feel, isn't the outcome usually a good one? Better yet, aren't you pleasantly surprised? Yup, it's shocking; but sometimes, all it needs is a little expression.

Just wander and ponder about it...

Detox - Day I..like, for real

Don't think that I forgot about my "detox"..believe me, it's happening alright.

As of today, I am easing into a 7-day detox consisting of: tomatoes, baby spinach, lemon, pepper, and detox tea. Sounds super delicious, I know...be jealous aka eat gloriously; but please, don't rub it in my face lol.

So this morning I had my detox tea (a combo of different Chinese tea leaves and herbs), an apple, and some red grapes. Since it is the first day and all, I get to eat a little more than just tomatoes and spinach. Thank goodness. Mid-day I had another cup of detox tea and a spinach/cucumber salad with balsamic dressing. Yum? Meh, it's aaalright. But I've never heard of a "super tasty yummy detox"...if there is one, let me know.

Status: so far, so good! I'm neither starving nor cheating my way through the detox :P Surprisingly, I feel pretty good!

Status

Currently @ the library, slaving away over a sky-high and much over-due pile of work. I'm completely and utterly exhausted due to the long (yet fun filled) weekend, M-dolla concert, and early morning train aka I was up at 6AM this morning (yuck).

Madonna Concert

Last night I was a lucky ducky and saw the Madonna concert. It was amazing phenomenal out of this fucking world. She really knows how to put on a show. I'll post pictures later today, along with more details.
:) - J

Gemini Forecast

Saturday, October 18
Socializing accelerates during the Full Moon, which can bring a romantic opportunity through a group project. Let your instincts take over to accelerate passion mid-week. Friday is an especially good time for flirting. Your humor draws admirers (and fun!) on Friday and Saturday. Express your deeper feelings on Sunday.


...I can deal with this ;)

Tonight

wine + catering + live entertainment + my favorite people + my dancing shoes + Circa + vodka shots = tonight

...I can't wait.

Designer Shoes

Dear Shoe-lovers,

My friend is selling really really nice designer shoes (sizes 8-9)...for cheap! If anyone is interested, let me know! I'll send some pictures, contact info, etc!

xo Jess

My "Demo" Speech

So I finally decided what my "demo" speech will be...
Yoga!!!
Here is a little taste aka my rough introduction:
I think it is accurate to say that at some point in our lives we have all been or felt “stressed” – Perhaps over an exam, career decision, relationship issue, or last minute Christmas shopping. Shit happens, stress happens. Despite the bad reputation stress often has - without it, life would be dull and unexciting. Stress adds flavor, challenge, and opportunity.

However, too much stress can negatively affect both your physical and mental well-being. A few great and basic ways to cope with stress are: good sleep, a well balanced diet, and exercise; but I am here to tell you about an even better way to counter stress, yoga!

So today, I will show you a couple yoga moves that will hopefully help you to relax, “zen out”, and essentially relieve stress.

My Favorite Commercial

LOL

Holy Thighs..

Overall, this song gives me a headache.

Saturday, October 18th

This Saturday is my parents 27th (or 28th) wedding anniversary. Important stuff. They are having a big party with catering, booze, and live entertainment. My friends and I are clearly mooching the event and then peacing to club Circa afterward. Clearly.

My only concerns are the following...
- am I expected to give a "toast"?
- what to wear!!?
- and...that's about it (for now)

The highlights are to come.

Speech Topics...

This coming Tuesday I have to deliver a "demonstration speech" - and I can't decide what my "demo" should be.

Here are my options:
A) How to successfully make a "Bad Ass" Mojito
OR
B) What 'to do' and what 'not to do' on a date

I figure the class could use a dating lesson or two..but then again, is that offensive and then again, am I even qualified for such a "demonstration"?!

...Thoughts?

Spicy Broccoli

Ever had a spicy broccoli sushi roll? Are you thinking, "wait a minute, that's not sushi" Or are you feeling a little disgusted? Well...I myself was a little skeptical at first (my friend still rubs it in my face - he is a cocky jerk like that). But honestly, it's delicious! I would eat it everyday if I could. Next time you eat out for sushi and spot a spicy broccoli roll on the menu, get it! I promise, it's glorious.

Funny Movie!

I recommend - I laughed my ass off!

Tag Line Suggestions

HELP! I need a "tag-line"

My friend(s) and I have this brilliant idea...I can't give a way too much - but so far the cast includes:

"The Guy"
"The Best Friend"
"The Model"
"The....?" WHAT THE HELL AM I?!

Buzzing with Excitment

I'm literally buzzing with excitement...
I have all these ideas and goals - and can hardly wait to execute them. I need to graduate immediately. April 2009 needs to hurry the fuck up.

DETOX - ON PAUSE

Okay so...my detox is rather laughable isn't happening is on pause!

The reason for the "pause" is
a) I am currently in The University of Toronto's library snacking on red jujubes (they are my weakness, I can't help it)
b) I have weight training at the gym tomorrow morning (everyone knows that after weights = glorious carbs!)
c) I feel like drinking - a lot - this weekend
d) It's my parents 28th wedding anniversary this weekend thus, a big party thus, lots of drinking and thus, I cannot detox!

SOoOo..I will 100%, officially, absolutely, no backing down, start my detox this Sunday, October 19th. The detox will run for a full week, and wrap up just before Halloween weekend. Brilliant. Simply Brilliant.
xo Jess

...you have got to be kidding me

Scenario: My taxi-cab driver speeds downtown, runs a yellow/red light, a cop happens to see and pulls him over. Little ol' me is sitting in the back seat, thinking "fuck...I will totally miss my train". Yup. Conveniently, I had a train to catch.
...Needless to say, I missed my train.

In the moment I felt completely overwhelmed, stressed, and frazzled that yet again I experienced oh-fucking hell-what-is-with-these-taxi-drivers type luck so...I began to cry. Yup. I broke down like a little girl and started to cry. Oh but wait, it gets better. The police man then began to comfort me. He even offered a tissue for my issue, which was quite sweet of him.

Thankfully my good friends - aka angels sent from heaven - picked me up from my street-corner-of-sobs, took me to Starbucks (despite my detox, but this scenario is obviously a valid exception), and then drove me home. Thank-fucking-goodness.

Summary...
The Bad:
- I missed my train
- STILL had to pay the cab driver his fair (which was 25 bucks!)
- The cop thought I was an emotional train wreck
- I have books - at my house, in London - that I kinda need for school :S

The Good:
- I was saved
- I got to enjoy Starbucks
- I am finally beginning my detox
- I found my readings for school online...God bless the internet
- AND I can enjoy delicious leftover turkey DETOX DETOX DETOX I LOVE DETOX

This is an example of life throwing me oranges when I blatantly asked for apples; meh, I deal. Besides...it's orange season ;)

Detox - Day I, continuation

So the tea isn't so bad after all, or I've simply become immune to it? Either way, my detox has finally begun! ...thank God.

Detox - Day I

Okay so...I kinda cheated haven't really started am slowing easing into it.

...yes, I am easing myself into it! But really. This morning I had a "tall" latte instead of a grande AND my lunch was ridiculously small; not to mention, it was a super healthy lunch aka from Whole Foods. Baby steps Jess, baby steps.

To further help myself "ease in" I bought some detox tea. It tastes like shit, which must mean that it's working...so ya, let the yummy-yum-detoxing begin!

Tomorrow there will be NO Starbucks, NO delectable Whole Foods, and NO more baby steps...despite really really really wanting to hit up this fantastic sushi spot for lunch, or perhaps dinner. Sigh.

...oh Tyra

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving Canada

D E T O X

My 5 day DETOX begins Tuesday, October 14th. Right after Thanksgiving-turkey-and pie-eat everything in sight-long weekend and right before Halloween aka must-look-skinny-weekend!

It's rather ingenious timing. I'll give you the 5-day breakdown with all the deets including what I eat, drink, and how much I suffer. Till then!

xo Jess

Sex on Fire

Lay where you're laying
Don't make a sound
I know they're watching
They're watching

All the commotion
The killing of pain
Has people talking
They're talking

Dark of the alley
The breaking of day
Ahead while I'm driving
I'm driving

Soft lips are open
Knuckles are pale
Feels like you're dying
You're dying

And you
Your sex is on fire
And so
With the words to transpire

Hot as a fever
Rattling bones
I can just taste it
Taste it

If it's not forever
If it's just tonight
Oh we're still the greatest
The greatest
The greatest

And you
Your sex is on fire

You
Your sex is on fire
And so
With the words to transpire

...this never gets old

The Perfect Day

sunshine, Starbucks, and damn good company

Staring at the Sun

I am the conscience clear
in pain or ecstasy
and we were all weaned my dear
upon the same fatigue

staring at the sun
oh my own voice
cannot save me now
standing in the sea
it's just
one more breath
and then
down i go

your mouth is open wide
the lover is inside
and all the tumults done
collided with the sign
you're staring at the sun
you're standing in the sea
your body's over me

be what you will
and then thrown down your life
oh it's a damned fine game
and we can play all night

beat the skins and let the
loose lips kiss you clean
quietly pour out like light
like light, like answering the sun

you're staring at the sun
you're standing in the sea
your mouth is open wide
you're trying hard to breathe
the water's at your neck
there's lightning in your teeth
your body's over me

Sugar High

Over the past 2.5 hours, I have consumed a grotesque amount of sugar. Like, seriously...marshmallows, jujubes, rice-krispy-squares...ooh baby that's a lotta' suga

A) There is no way in hell that I am falling asleep anytime soon
B) I have to get up at 6:30AM tomorrow...which I am definitely NOT looking forward to
C) I will have to crush out an additional hour of cardio at the gym tomorrow...at least!
D) I will forever be sick of the smell, taste, color, look, shape, and texture of marshmallows...for life. Ewww I'm getting sick just thinking about it...
E) This is totally and utterly my fault. And I promise to suffer the consequences.

Do I regret it?
...Absolutely not.

Jube-Puffs

While attempting to make rice-krispy squares, my roommate and I decided to invent a snack. And what a snack it is. It is delicious...essentially, it's organism meets please clog-my-arteries! But seriously, it's fantastic. I recommend.
Main Snack Ingredients:
- JuJubes (minus the black ones of course)
- Marshmellows

Behold...pure genius!!!

Red Hot

Take me to the place I love...take me all the way

pppeace

see ya later summer...

...goodbye "good weight"

peace out 3-days-of-hell...

...fuck off foolish and naive assumptions

I'll miss you and dream of you caffeine...

Aww Moment

Scenario: Checking my email at the library. A guy is sitting beside me; I think nothing of it, and barely even notice.

Guy: "You smell nice"
Me: "Aw, thanks"
Guy: "What are you wearing"
Me: "Tom Ford"
(he gets up to leave)
Guy: "I dunno what that is...but ya, you smell great! Have a good night."
Me: "Uh..ya, thanks again. You too!"

Strange, nice, thoughtful, random, (but wait side note, how does he not know who Tom Ford is?!), well whatever it was...it was nice. And I like little and unexpected things like that.

You Oughta Know

bleh

...bleh, dying of thirst. Currently analyzing descriptive grammar i.e. subject form, object form, and the possessive. Jeez-la-weez, I know this already! Stupid Ivey kids.

8.5 more hours until my work day is over.

Kill me...

Tuesday Status

This morning I woke up with a splitting headache, I felt as if my neck was broken (I have never actually broken my neck - let alone a bone, knock on wood - but I am sure the feeling was pretty close). Once I dragged my ass out of bed, I made my mmm-yum-morning oatmeal, with blueberries, cinnamon, and vanilla yogurt. I then continued to drag my ass to the gym, for an hour of delectable cardio. I feel better now. Thankfully.

Now, currently sitting in the libraries wanna-be Starbucks cafe, I am about to crack open my boring J.Mill book "On Liberty"...aka, brutality.

Side note...written in pen on the table beside me reads "Claire & Ryan FOREVER since 12.14.2007". Barf. But seriously, according to the date "Claire & Ryan" haven't even been dating for a year. Why does everyone seem to fall in love so easily now a-days? Ugh. It makes me sick.

Anyway, before I ramble on a rampage I really really rrreally need to study.

X - Jess

"It's Alright to be MEAN"

I'm bored of cheap and cheerful
I want expand some sadness
Hospital bills, parole
Open doors to madness

I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're stupid baby when you're sane

I'm sick of social crazes
Show your sharp tipped teeth
Lose your cool in public
Did the legal meet

'Cause love is just a dialogue
You can't survive on ice-cream
You got to see me dancing dog

It's alright
To be mean
It's alright
To be mean

Madonna Mixes Music Messages

As a culture, we love entertainment; and as an audience, we expect it. We enjoy the fast pace rush of surprise, action, and drama. In particular, live concerts have the power ability to captivate us with music. As a fan, in an audience, the music is both loud and strong; engaging you to sing-a-long to a favorite lyric or move to a familiar beat. It’s a live experience, at both a time and place, where you can truly let go to enjoy the music. Pop culture icon Madonna has been doing this for years. Her powerful stage presence is utterly captivating; with flashing lights, sparkling costumes, and swarms of cheering fans, it’s hard not to watch and listen in total awe.

As a Madonna fan, I follow her music with excitement and intrigue as she constantly reinvents herself despite all of the hype and controversy. Once I heard she was going on tour for her latest album “Hard Candy”, I squealed with excitement. Jumping at the opportunity, I snatched two tickets for her approaching “Sticky N’ Sweet” fall tour, where she appears in Toronto on October 19th.

As her tour kicked off, “Sticky N’ Sweet” was everything but sugar, spice, and everything nice. Instead, negative controversy spread like wild fire. Deemed not for her lyrics, revealing stage get-ups, or sexual dancing but actually for her message. Her mixed message of music, politics, and seemingly racist views plastered the pages of magazines and flooded the media airwaves.
On her opening concert night - live in Cardiff, Wales - a montage of both Hilter and presidential nominee John McCain flashed across the big screen, following another image of Barack Obama and Ghandi.

Cross-dressing her social music event with controversial and personal political views, Madonna undoubtedly did it again. She sparked political anguish and caused offense, yet entertained thousands of die-heart fans, and essentially made millions. Already, her Sticky N Sweet tour is a sold-out success.

As a music lover, concert seer, and Madonna fan I can’t help but wonder, when does her controversy become unnecessary, inappropriate, and or downright demeaning? And living in an entertainment culture, when should we - the audience – suppress both our awe and captivation, in order to step back and separate the music from its live entertainment?

Madonna Controversy II

Tracing back to 1989, Madonna’s album and title track “Like a Prayer” spun a controversial music video that left many people up in arms. The music video featured Madonna in a thin white slip, dancing in front of a burning cross, and kissing an African American saint; naturally, this caused many complaints from various religious groups, which eventually led Pepsi to cancel their sponsorship of her tour. Despite the controversy, Madonna proceeded to push the buttons and raise the eyebrows of those around her. In 1991, she released an X-rated book called Sex; which sold more than 22, 000 copies in its first day.

Now, in the fall of 2008, it is clear that Madonna is not slowing down anytime soon. Perhaps in the life of Madonna, her international Sticky N’ Sweet tour is simply ordinary, full of her much expected and rather typical controversy. The sole difference between the array of controversial images and burning cross in the “Like a Prayer” music video is that the images are live. These live images send both a powerful and unexpected message, which reaches the large and crowded audience.

The controversial images were shown as Madonna performed her hit single “Get Stupid”, which featured not only images of McCain and Hilter but also of global warming, floods, war, famine, and oppressed Tibetans. Following this sequence featured Ghandi, Obama, and other positive images such as musician John Lennon, Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, and U2 singer Bono. A McCain’s campaign spokesman called her comparison as “outrageous, unacceptable, and crudely divisive”. Despite all outrage and crude controversy, the crowd roared on wanting more of Madonna’s sticky and sweet performance candy.

In dire hope and curiosity to answer my question, I conclude that we, as a culture, love and will continue to adore controversial entertainment. Madonna essentially knows this, heightening it to a jaw-dropping amount of success. Unless our personal views, emotions, and opinions are stirred to a boiling point, then we will probably continue to loose ourselves in the music and watch in awe.

To step back and separate the music from the live experience requires an audience to be both conscious and media literate. If we fail to stand strong and hold true to our own beliefs, then we risk loosing ourselves in the Sticky N' Sour mix of controversy.

Oh Joy...

And I mean "Oh Joy" in the most sarcastic way possible...
I just got involuntarily raped by my midterm. So sweet, I love when that happens.

...oh joy, oh joyful.

Visual Appeal - Vodka Related

Yawwwwn

Wanna know the quickest way to fall asleep collapse from boredom? Crack open A Theory of Justice, read approximately two pages paragraphs and bingo, you're out cold.

General Note II

I have the best-est friends in the whole entire world

...that is all.

Selflessness

My Grandfather was a selfless man, sacrificing his very own wants and needs to ensure the absolute happiness of others. Neither material nor wealth phased him; his health and happiness radiated off the little things, such as conversing with his Grandchildren, helping a stranger, or handing his wife fresh flowers from his garden. He believed in God, prayed to Jesus, and passionately cared about how you were doing - always others before himself.

As a karma-believing individual, I often put something or someone before myself - contently knowing that I did the right thing, the nice thing; by dragging my unhappy roommate to yoga, taking my brother out to lunch after his soccer game, impulsively buying a gift for someone on absolutely no occasion, biting the bullet for a nasty coworker, dropping all my bags to help a lady with her baby-stroller, and so forth.

And through new experiences I constantly write, rewrite, edit, re-edit the format of both my wants and needs; but not after considering the people I affect, love, and cherish in my life.

At a strange and pivotal point in my life, I suddenly want and wish to ask him why and how he swallowed his own fears, tears, and joys at the expense of others.

Because despite all my efforts I suddenly feel karma-less; in my own entanglement of reason, desire, obligation, and wonder. I itch and urge to be selfish - just for a moment - despite not knowing what it is I want to be selfish for.

Seriously? It's October?

I just looked at my "blog archive" and realized that it's OCTOBER!

Eek.

Good thing I LOVE the following: Thanksgiving, fall weather (minus rainy days), pumpkin carving, apple-picking, Halloween (too old for trick-or-treating...tear), leave crunching, and hmmm did I mention that I LOVE Thanksgiving?!

But seriously...where does the time go?

General Note

Les Artistes

What I'm listening to right now...this very second

What I'm searching for
to tell it straight, I'm trying to build a wall
Walking by myself
down avenues that reek of time to kill
If you see me keep going
be a pass by waver
Build me up, bring me down
just leave me out you name dropper
Stop trying to catch my eye
I see you good you forced faker
Just make it easy
You're my enemy you fast talker

I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for the things that I believe

What am I here for?
I left my home to disappear is all
I'm here for myself
Not to know you
I don't need no one else
Fit in so good the hope is that you cannot see me later
You don't know me
I am an introvert an excavator
I'm duckin' out for now
a face in dodgy elevators
Creep up and suddenly
I found myself
an innovator

Change, change, change,
I want to get up out of my skin
tell you what
if I can shake it
I'm 'a make this
something worth dreaming of